Commander Shepard is str8 gangsta, yo.
(And yes, I am going to hell for this, thank you very much. As if I wasn’t already due to ‘Gangnam Wither’.)
This entry was written by comedy, gaming, geekery, humour, Video and tagged video, youtube. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.
My mate Thomas “Toma” Kane has been beavering away on a new web-based Scottish comedy series, and he asked me to do some music for it. Here’s parts 1 and 2 of episode 1, with more to come.
A MUSICAL BAR JOKE
A C, an E-flat,and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the endof the bar and exclaims: “Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: “You’re looking sharp tonight,come on in! This could be a major development.” This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The C is brought to trial,is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest – and closes the bar.
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Nabbed from various people on my friends list…thirteen questions, the answers generated by the first 13 random songs on my Winamp playlist.
1. What do you think of me, Random Music Player?
One Vision – Queen
2. Will I have a happy life?
Heartbreaker – Led Zeppelin
But whose hearts are getting broken?
3. What do my friends really think of me?
Altered Course – Isis
Erm, that’s a stretch to make sense of. 😛
4. What does my S.O. think of me?
Great King Rat – Queen
I’d be upset by this…if I had a significant other.
5. Do people secretly lust after me?
In The Mystery – Allan Holdsworth
6. How can I make myself happy?
Alaska – UK
Nah, too cold.
7. What should I do with my life?
Tender Surrender – Steve Vai
To what, though?
8. Why must life be so full of pain?
The Chase is Better Than The Catch – Motorhead
9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Cross Eyed Mary – Iron Maiden
I hear she’s shite in bed.
10. Can you give me some advice?
Where Did You Sleep Last Night? – Nirvana
Dammit, I asked for advice, not a bloody interrogation.
11. What do you think happiness is?
Rooster – Alice In Chains
You sick fuck.
12. Do you have any advice to give over the next few hours/days?
Fool You – King’s X
13. Will I die happy?
Electric Hellfire – Black Label Society
Sounds painful. 😛
What kind of D&D Character I’d be….
I Am A: Chaotic Good GnomeBard Ranger
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.
Gnomes are also short, like dwarves, but much skinnier. They have no beards, and are very inclined towards technology, although they have been known to dabble in magic, too. They tend to be fun-loving and fond of jokes and humor. Some gnomes live underground, and some live in cities and villages. They are very tolerant of other races, and are generally well-liked, though occasionally considered frivolous.
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.
Finder Wyvernspur is the Chaotic Neutral god of the cycle of life and the transformation of art, although he leans heavily towards Good. He is also known as the Nameless Bard. Followers of Finder believe that everything must change in order to grow and thrive. Their preferred weapon is the bastard sword.
A Gnome? WTF? I knew I was a short-arse, but that’s taking the biscuit.